stroker ace

time-7:45 am today
location- chamberlain east of 42nd st, dropped my husband's daughter off at roosevelt and leaving la mie after buying a loaf of bread for fucksakes
who- me and ace in honda and some fuck in a station wagon/suv
what- drag race
outcome- i won
why- it's wednesday and i hate assholes

turned east onto chamberlain, heading towards 35th st., dude(?) in station wagon/suv comes up on my tail then tries to pass me on the left on this residential street.  no no, without even thinking about it i accelerate and turn my steering wheel left, forcing him(?) to veer further left into oncoming traffic lane.  there is a parked car on the left 100 feet in front of us and i had the a'hole boxed in.  i was ready to hear that ugly excuse of a hybrid smash into the parked car, and me continue on home as if nothing had happened.

who am i?  all i know is i felt so frickin' alive.

then ween's song "stroker ace" went through my head. 

light up the wheels and go for broke
stomp that pedal with a sniftin stroke
smack that roadblock caught in a pickle
i'm gonna hit that line like old dick trickle

well my motor's fine and this train's on time
and when i cross that line i'm gonna make you mine

i'm stroker ace-stroker ace-stroker ace

well it's one a.m. and i'm rollin' in the car now
gonna hit last call down at the bar now
got a shammy in my pocket and it's burnin' a hole
stick it the floor and watch me roll

well my motor's fine and this train's on time
and when i cross that line i'm gonna make you mine

i'm stroker ace-stroker ace-stroker ace

well it smells like poop and it sure looks crappy
gotta get back to north pappy flappy

happy hump-day