Thursday, April 23, 2015

sick of sausages

i am sick of sausages.  let me clarify, i am not sick of eating meat in patty or tube form that is preferably a happy pig stuffed into a tube or ground up and made into a patty.  no.  the sausages i am sick of are late night sausages.   i am not sick of the sausage that raps you on the cheek while you are sleeping.  winking emoticon, chug-a-lug donna.  no.  i am bored and sick that sausages dominate late night television, just check out this list i compiled in 20 seconds:

bill maher
carson god damn daly
charlie rose
conan
dave
the 3 jimmys- james corden, jimmy kimmel and jimmy fallon
john oliver
larry formerly known as stephen
noah formerly known as jon
seth
stephen
tavis

that's 14 sausages, every night.  that's a gang bang.

where are the ladies?  aren't there any interesting, intelligent, witty ladies out there?


and let me point out that i have no qualms with any of the sausages on late night television, except for david letterman, i've always found him creepy.  i am a huge conan fan, but without cable i must watch him online.  speaking of sausage, here's one of conan's funny bits, and he isn't even in it:


you're welcome.

i digress.

my point is, chicks are funny.  i'm not going to make a list, but talent exists out there to fill any vacant late night host spot.  amy schumer is currently a favorite of mine.  or perhaps the gal who was responsible for this video, i here she's available:


splendoor.  jesus.  that's my buddy john bush, he has a new comedy album out called "comedy night" which is worth a listen cuz he's funny. one time john bush called me "guy funny" which i wasn't sure if i should take as a compliment or was he perpetuating a stereotype that female comedians only appeal to females?  i told him that funny is funny.  dane cook is a guy and he is not funny.

what other ladies tickle your funnybone and could hold their own amongst the sausages?