stranger danger

i had a couple of encounters with strangers this week that not only left a bittersweet taste in my mouth but has me seriously considering that old adage- don't talk to strangers. Just don't.

i was minding my own business whilst walking my dog Ace through our neighborhood the other day. Or shall i say a funny thing happened while walking my dog Ace? we were in our hood and observed a hetero couple and their dog leaving their home to get into a car. their dog was off leash and spotted Ace and made its way over. the dogs do the sniff dance and then stranger dog commences to attack Ace.

by the time the k9's mama got control of their attack dog, Ace and i had made our way across the street and i offered up this obvious advice:

"if your dog is unfriendly it should be on leash"

to which the k9 dad wearing a lanyard with a corporate id around his neck responded:

"fuck off" like he was in a watermelon seed spitting contest.

that's nice i said, i'm just walking through my neighborhood minding my own business when my dog is attacked by your dog and you have the nerve to tell ME to fuck off? to which the k9's mama said:

"can't we all just get along?"

i continued walking and was a bit flustered so we walked to our friend johnny b"s house nearby and regaled him with this tale of the nasty neighbors. A half hour after we get home I receive a text from johnny b with a name (rob) and a phone number. turns out neighbor "fuck off" rob, watched us go to johnny b's so in an effort to clean up his karma he made his way to johnny b's who was outside, and asked if a girl with a big black dog lived there, johnny b said no but i think you are looking for my friend nicole. so i call "fuck off" rob, and he says:

"humans shouldn't treat other humans like that" and apologized. then he said next time you are walking by we will have you in for some iced tea. uh yeah, thanks but no thanks.

a couple of days later i am at the farmers market and visit my friend cail at his honey booth. he is with a customer so i make myself comfortable in a chair next to him inside the booth. the customer, a 60 year old nosey nellie says to me:

"are you a pollinated bee?" cail and i exchange glances of wtf? i say:

"what does that mean?" she rubs her belly and says:

"pregnant?" i say:

"good god no, but thanks for pointing out that i'm fat". she too apologized.

now i don't know if it is possible to not talk with strangers, but it is possible to a) be kind and b) not stick your foot in your mouth.