because of iowa's first in the nation status all the monkeys running for president spend too much time in iowa wooing iowans. donald trump was one of those monkeys attending an event norte of des moines, it was the freedumb bbq in (sk)ankeny and i got into a westside storyish, greasers vs socs spork spat with donald. i crashed the freedumb bbq dressed as an abortion with trump's hair on top, and he stabbed me with a gold spork he had in his left hand, pointed at me with his right hand and like a 9 year old boy said "no you're the abortion". it was weird.
that is a far better tale than the truth, but the truth is last thursday i had melanoma surgically removed that was "like a cluster of grapes the size of a softball" from what is ground zero on my left flank, yay!
which brings me back to my current state, which is propped up and contemplating my next move which is do i nod off or watch meatballs? both? i feel ok about my current state as it is raining outside and super swampy so i would not be in the garden anyway. but i hope to be able to weed and harvest soon. my cucumbers are starting to come in and it is pickling time god dammit.
you know those people who say "aids was the best thing that ever happened to me" because it made them a better person? i don't know who says that but i sure as shit wouldn't say that about melanoma and me. that should be the title of my memoir, like marley and me but melissa mccarthy plays me instead of aniston in the movie of the book "mel and me".
i knew something was brewing on my side, no way to articulate the knowing and the anxiety that piggybacks the knowing, which is relieved only by a welcome scalpel and a 12 inch scar held together with staples. how to process and articulate that? well i blogged about folding a fitted sheet is how i dealt with it.
now i am tasked with healing and staying ahead of the pain. but what about after? for the past 24 months i've been paralyzed by depression. and depression is such a time sucker. you think pinterest and myface are time suckers? depression by stage 4 melanoma is a time sucker fucker.
but no mas. no. i don't think i'm gonna live forever. so it is important to me to smile and find peace and prepare the fruit i've grown from seed and share it with friends and family and squeeze my dog and kiss my husband and hug my friends and family and make strangers laugh and get finger banged by benicio del toro.
and fold a fitted sheet.
come see me anytime. because it will be impossible for me to see you at my funeral.
1 comment:
sorry you are ill again. I was going to post a photo of our dog with its new "get well soon" sticker on its leg cast, but I could not figure out how to do this. Just read through a few of your blogs. very entertaining. I really liked the photo of your garden that seems to have replaced your grass. Can't eat grass, unless you get a sheep anyway. Hope you are mobile soon, Love Eric and Leah
Post a Comment