cherry on top

the proverbial cherry being a fucking "lesion on my cerebellum" said the physician assistant over the phone yesterday morning.  we had visited the university of iowa specialist the day before and what i thought would be a routine consult about how to possibly better steer this vessel of melanoma (of which we discussed, quite theatrically) came down to "i've got to see your brain first, can you stay and have an mri in an hour?"

so they gave me a valium and i happily slid into the chute listening to '70's rock which was not a great choice, because it wasn't the faces or the stones it was kansas etc but valium makes kansas tolerable.

valium may help make all of this a little more palatable.  i had to be poked three fucking times before they found a vein to draw labs from and inject contrast dye.  mo, as in mohammad milhem melanoma specialist, ordered labs to determine if my adrenal, pituitary and thyroid were even functioning and they are not.  i am severely hypo-thyroid due to scorch and burn chemo.  what i thought were severe side effects of chemo were also effects of these glands not being able to do their job like: thyroid- regulating internal body temperature; adrenal glands sending steroids in to help cope with stress- the fight or flight in house coping hormone is missing, and i cannot handle any stress physical, emotional or otherwise because the chemo wiped it out.  so i've been prescribed hormone replacement therapy.

i don't know if there is any hormone replacement therapy that makes it any easier to swallow the words "you have a brain tumor" but i am willing to give it a go, atleast to fucking level my shit out.

this morning i am heading back to iowa city to see a man about stereotactic radiation surgery on my brain.  then a second consult with mo.  he has yet to hear my proposal for organizing a taco trial.  then at the end of the day today the real cherry on top is we have tickets to see david cross.  i need a good laugh.

hello daddy, hello mom